A Tale of Two States

CALIFORNIA

• A state official (Nancy Pelosi) is jogging with her dog along a nature trail.
•  A coyote jumps out and attacks Nancy’s dog, then bites Nancy.
• Nancy starts to intervene, but decides she should stop because the coyote is only doing
  what is natural.
• She calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
• She calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
• She goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting her bite wound bandaged.
• The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
• The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area as a result of a Nancy Pelosi email to her constituents demanding they forgive the coyote and respect it’s constitutional rights.
• The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease – the study concludes there are no new factors to discuss.
• Nancy’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack.
• The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.
• PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state. California spends $12 million defending against the suit, but residents complain, so California settles for $4 million

TEXAS

• A state official in Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
• A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
• He shoots the coyote and  keeps jogging.
• The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

Of course parts of this story are completely untrue. Nancy Pelosi doesn’t jog.